78/365 Less and Less Like Me All the Time

"Got it all sent away," my sister-in-law says with a nod. We're standing in her kitchen after my niece's birthday party. She's talking about her annulment papers.

I mention that our former bishop, now in Rome, is planning to crack down on American annulments. "He thinks there are too many. When I read that, I thought about you and hoped you'd gotten things in."

One of Mike's uncles shakes his head. "It would be just like him to stick his nose in there. Did he run out of Polish parishes to abuse?"

I know, many people these days who enter into a marriage don't do it for the long haul. And there was a time when Mike and I hit a rocky patch and things started avalanching downhill. We saved it--and other people give up and walk away. I don't think either of these things are true in the case of my sister-in-law, and I suspect she'll get (earn?) her annulment.

But once again, where was the church in these marriages? If it is so difficult to divorce in the church, why is it so easy to marry? Because an Engaged Encounter weekend or pre-cana with a celibate priest really doesn't give you any inkling what you're headed for. Warm fuzzy stories of wedding days long ago and first babies and family planning do not prepare you for lead poisoning, lost jobs, miscarriages, anger, and financial straits. Sharing life with another person is so hard, it's a wonder really that it works as often as it does.

And there, there my church goes again, getting less and less pastoral with every step. Fitting into the church outside my parish boundaries gets more difficult with every new pronouncement from Rome. As Lyle Lovett puts it, But what's riches to you/ Just ain't riches to me.

And yet I'm clinging to my Catholicism like a lichen to a rock. There's no other place for me to go. I've found the best I can and here I stay until they pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Or until my demographic group matches something Burke has decided to go after and I'm not allowed through the doors anymore.