281/365 Dressing the Altar

I've dressed the altar...4 or 5 times? The first times were like any first attempts at new public activities. I was nervous and was still in the "knowingly unknowing" stage of learning. You know--first you don't know what you don't know; next you know what you don't know and you're shaky about anything you're learning; after that you knowingly know--which is when you should teach (or the stage you should force yourself back into in order to effectively teach). Lastly, you unknowingly know. You just do. When I sew, for instance, I can't even teach someone how to do it unless I step outside myself and remember how I hold my body, my hands, how I control pressure on the machine, or design something and include seam allowances, and so forth. I so unknowingly know how to sew that it's like reading or breathing. It just happens.

On the other hand, I will always be in the stage of knowingly knowing when it comes to math. I love math, now, and I love to teach it. But I keep myself as a non-expert because it makes me a better teacher.

It's become a natural thing to dress the altar now. Somewhere in that knowing stage. I know what I'm doing, my partner tonight knew what she was doing (or had enough presence in public to fake it well), and when we went down to the aisle to receive the gifts from Mike and my girls, I was just smiling. Not nervous. It was good.